Journal 21
From the time that we sat down and revised one another papers in class, I have had a lot of time digest the potential edits and revisions that were given to me. The major revision or just task to focus on was to find quotes in the text to expand on my points which I did and proves to have made my paper more intriguing and less of just me talking without hard evidence. Another thing that has changed from te in class revisions is also the set up to my paper in my introductions. From listening and reading my peers papers I noticed they set up each articelt they were going to talk about very well that gave the reader a sense of what was going on and what was going to be said in the upcoming paragraphs. I enjoyed this and put it into my own writing as I did not do a great job initially setting up the reader for what I was going to be introducing to my argument and talking about. I noticed, as well as my peer editors that my initial thesis sort of tailored off at the end to a new topic which I was told I should combine both points in my main theiss to incorporate all my idea that help convey my stance on the subject.
